Week 29 -- "Breaking up is hard to do" -- Grade 11

Week 29 -- "Breaking up is hard to do" -- Grade 11

Suite360 Student Lesson Name: Breaking up is hard to do.

Brief Summary: You can certainly remember your first big breakup. You can remember feeling like it was the end of the world. And now so many years later, your child sits in their room, sobbing and shouldering the pain of their own big breakup. It is a pain that runs deep and there is no magic wand, except for the wand of time, that will cut the feelings of loss. As a parent you can be there for support and help your child understand that this is part of growing up and things will pass and they will be able to move on.

Shared vocabulary: None

Key Takeaways:

  • Validate your child’s feelings.  There is nothing more empowering than letting your teen know that you know how he or she feels and you know it’s completely awful. While you won’t be able to make your teen feel better about it, he or she will be appreciative that you are supportive. 
  • Give your teen the space to grieve.  Your child will need the space to grieve the loss of the relationship. During this time, they are feeling like they just lost “the one” and that there will never be another relationship in their life like the one they just had. This is perfectly normal for them to be feeling that way. Give them the time to grieve and let the relationship go. 
  • Give your child love and support.  You don’t have to suffocate your teen with hugs and kisses, but just being there with empathy and comfort will make a huge difference.Share with your teen the qualities that make him or her so special. 
  • Remind them often that they are deserving of love. It will make a difference. 
  • Giving your teen hope and reminding him or her often that there is hope and it is alive and well, will help him or her move through the grief process. There is nothing worse than thinking that things are hopeless, which is exactly how your teen will feel. Remind him or her of their youth and all of the people they have yet to meet along with sharing a few reminders like things happen for a reason, some people are lessons, and some people are gifts who you get to keep.
  • Knowing that there is a whole world of living and relationships ahead will give your teen hope that his or her career in love is far from over. 

Continue the Conversation:

  • Being a parent is really hard. You have to give support, but not too much. You have to take a step back, but not too far back. You have to constantly adjust yourself to match the ever-changing emotions of your teen. When your teen is going through a breakup, it is important to not push too hard for information. Details will be shared when your teen is ready. Be there to listen and based on what they share and what questions they ask will allow you to continue the conversation that is appropriate to your child’s specific situation.  

Additional resources/suggested reading: